Personal Evaluation | Daily Devotional

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

And see if there be any hurtful way in me,

And lead me in the everlasting way.

Psalm 139:23-24, NASB

I highlighted these verses in my Bible back in the college days when it was cute to draw a heart next to every “heart” typed on the pages. Scribbled next to them in the same blue ink are the words “Don’t leave me unchanged.”

Self-Evaluation isn’t always cute

Praise God that he saves sinners, seeks the lost, and heals the sick. We also rejoice that he doesn’t leave us in that condition; he has a new life for us to live.

To genuinely pray with David, “See if there be any hurtful way in me,” I must be willing first to see the ugly in my heart. The truth is, there is no “if” when it comes to having hurtful ways in me; I was born a sinner, broken and in need of a Savior just like every other person in history. Asking to be investigated, intimately known by a perfectly holy God is uncomfortable and next level vulnerable. 

James 1:14 points out, “Each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.” Gross. No, thank you. I would much rather blame some external factor for my sin. 

A look in the mirror is worth it

While temptation bleeds from our sinful heart into our actions, ultimately leading to death, God’s word says enduring trials that test our faith lead to a crown of life. (See James 1:2-4; 1:12.) Ah, that sounds much better. 

As a stay-at-home, work-from-home, homeschooling mom, I can’t really say that our state’s orders to eliminate non-essential activity has given me any extra hours in a day. However, it has forced me to confront the “anxious thoughts” and “hurtful ways” in myself that have lost their opportunities to hide in the busyness of a full schedule outside the house. Though self-evaluation is not particularly pleasant, it can be powerful for God’s transforming work.

We’re in good company

This Psalm was written by David who was very familiar with alone time. Before being anointed king, he kept company with sheep while his older brothers did other important things together. After being anointed the next king, David ended up needing to flee from the current king, Saul, for years. David lived decades on the run, fearing for his life, hiding in caves, crying out to the Lord, and writing Spirit-inspired poetry. Distanced from others, David had plenty of time to reflect and ask of the Lord, “Lead me in the everlasting way.” God was faithful to guide David and grow his character during that season. We can also trust in the life-changing God to whom David prayed.

Now what?

Our adjusted time away from a normal schedule may be revealing things inside us that we’d rather not see. Have we been clinging to something besides Jesus as our ultimate hope? Have we been ignoring sinful thoughts, behaviors, or attitudes that we used to be able to bury in our busyness? Let’s take the time to ask. Let’s pray with David, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10). Let’s confess, repent, and follow God’s everlasting way. May we not be eager to run out of this season unchanged.